We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
