im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
