David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
