I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
