It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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