Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I am one with the molecules
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
