Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just pee around me
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
