We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
