I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize