I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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