I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
