Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
