Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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