I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
