I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
