I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
