I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
