I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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