Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
