What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
