do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
