Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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