He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
