butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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