he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
