Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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