I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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