I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
