i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
