I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
