i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
