Pappa wants mamma naked
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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