Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize