did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
