People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
