Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
