I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
