this boner is exhausting
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
