I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
