would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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