Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
