It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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