I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
