pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
