HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Can i not drive my cunt home
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
