What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
