Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How does one acquire holy water?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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