But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We need to rekindle our bromance
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize