weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
