FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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