I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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