I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
