I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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