Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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