I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
