i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
