there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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