Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
