thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
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