that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
