yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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