Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
