Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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