I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Please, let me fuck your mom
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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