dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Holy shit dude........stairs
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
