On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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