so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
