Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
