Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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