i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
