I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
accomplished twins. life is a go
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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